


The Art of Swear Words

by grinder-lector (chasing_stars_and_cigarettes)



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Cussing, FHRITP, Swearing, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:51:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7090345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasing_stars_and_cigarettes/pseuds/grinder-lector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, Rabbit found a viral video on YouTube of a famous news report gone wrong (FHRITP) and adds some words to her vocabulary.</p><p>(NOTE TO READERS: I'm not holding back in this fanfic! No swear words have been censored! And they aren't tame. They are sharp swear words! So if you aren't a fan of hearing the robots swearing then this is not the fic for you!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Swear Words

**Author's Note:**

> YOU! It's not too late to turn back

“Hatchworth! The Spine!”

Rabbit skipped through one of Walter Manor’s many corridors, her beaming personality slightly illuminating the dark walls. Her bright blue core too.

“Boys! Wh-Where are you?” She calls as she slides around a corner, “I’m bored! L-Let’s go feed the ducks!”

Still no answer. The automaton girl sighed and rolled her eyes. Her brothers were no were to be found. She leaned against the wall ready to slowly slide down its surface when an idea struck her.

“Wait! Steve is home!” Almost immediately, the automaton skipped off in the direction of the engineer’s room. Upon nearing the door, she tip toed carefully attempting to keep a low profile. Her aim was to sneak up on the poor engineer and scare the living daylights out of him.

When she was standing in the doorway, she could see that Steve was seated on his couch laughing at something on his laptop. His back was to her. She was totally undetected. All she had to do was sneak up behind him and shout. She began to take careful steps into the room towards him. As she got closer she could see what he was watching. Just a normal news broadcast. Nothing special. How could he find something like the news funny? The news was boring and sad.

She took one more step so she was standing right behind him. She was just about to shout loudly when something in the news broadcast caught her eye. A man rushed in on the shot, snatching the mike from the reporter and shouting into the mike “FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!”

Steve snorted then laughed. He began to slap the couch as his laugh turned into a cackle which then turned into a coughing fit. Rabbit grew concerned.

“Are y-you OK, Steve??”

The engineer jumped out of his seat, the laptop nearly crashed to the floor. Luckily he caught it. He placed it carefully onto the sofa.

“Rabbit, how long were you standing there?”

“Since th-that video started,” she answered.

His face paled, “Oh…about that…it’s just a viral video. I had no idea that was gonna happen.”

“Wh-What was gonna happen?” Her brow plates knit together in confusion.

“The man. With the shades…” He replied. Seeing her blank face he just sighed, “OK, doesn’t matter. So what do you need?”

“Oh nothing. I was gonna scare you! But th-th-then you started laughing at that video and I couldn’t s-see why it was funny and n-now I’m concerned.” Rabbit replied sweetly, her smile beaming at him.

“Oh, you wouldn’t understand,” Steve replied, “and it’s best you never understand.”

“Why?” Rabbit’s optics averted to the video as they skimmed over the title.

“It’s complicated,” Steve shrugged.

“’Fuck her right in the pussy…’” Rabbit read. Steve paled, “Wh-Wh-What does that mean?”

“OK, Rabbit,” his eyes were wide. He looked like he was trying to hold back from another laughing fit, “Try not to say that ever again.”

“Why th-though?”

“Like I said. It’s very complicated.”

“Ohhh…OK,” Rabbit smirked, “I’ll try not to.”

 

* * *

 

“So how’s everyone’s day been so far?”

Peter lifted his mask slightly, raising his fork to his mouth, eating a sweet potato wedge.

“It was nice, Peter,” the Spine answered before taking a swig of water to cool his boiler, “quite peaceful actually. I finished _Dream House_. It was quite an excellent book.”

“I was in a tree,” Hatchworth munched on his sweet potato fries, recalling his memories of the day.

“You mean up in the branches, Hatchworth?” Peter asked as he continued to eat.

“No…I was in the tree…it was adventurous,” Hatchworth beamed.

“Oh…OK. So the Spine read. Hatchworth…was Hatchworth,” Peter summed it up as he turned his attention to the eldest Walter bot, “How about you, Rabbit?”

“Oh, Steve and I-I-I-I were on the You Tube w-w-watching funny videos. I laughed a lot,” Rabbit nibbled at one of the fries.

“What sort of videos?”

“There were a f-few people playing video games! Their reactions were priceless!” Rabbit paused to giggle, “And we also wa-wa-watched a lot of six second videos!”

“They’re called Vines, Rabbit,” Steve corrected her.

“I w-w-wanted to play with the Spine and Hatchw-w-worth today but I c-c-couldn’t find them anywhere. So I went t-to Steve’s room to scare him. I kept up behind him and he was wa-watching a video and the man was like FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY and - -”

Peter choked.

Steve felt all eyes on him. He tried to smile but it looked very awkward and lopsided.

“Wow, nice one, Steve,” Chelsea sighed with frustration, “Now her minds gonna be infected.”

“What?” Rabbit’s face plates scrunched up in confusion.

“OK, Rabbit,” Peter addressed the eldest robot sibling, “Those were very bad words. You can’t say that ever again.”

“OH, Steve s-s-said the same thing!” Rabbit mentally scolded herself as she remembered the engineer’s advice, “Sorry, Steve.”

“Too late now,” Steve murmured.

“What does it mean? ‘Fuck her right in the pussy’. What does it mean, Peter?” Hatchworth leaned forward in his chair towards the masked man.

“Don’t say that!” Peter scolded him.

“Maybe it’s best it’s never said again. Everyone seems upset,” The Spine noted.

“Are you su-su-sure that’s what’s upsetting them all? Camille and Steve are laughing.” Rabbit noted.

The Walter Workers coughed awkwardly and sat up straight in their seats, “Laughing?”

“I doubt it’s th-th-that, the Spine,” Rabbit observed, “Test it, Hatchworth.”

“Fuck her right in the pussy,” Hatchworth spoke loud and clear, his expression blank.

Steve and Camille couldn’t take it anymore. They both began to chuckle and snort, Chelsea elbowed Camille and gave Steve a look of disapproval.

Peter slammed his hand on the table, “Rabbit. Hatchworth. Yes. Those words are upsetting. They are known as swear words. Swear words must be avoided at all costs. This can be difficult as there are many swear words out there.”

“Oh, gosh! H-H-How many?” Rabbit was astonished.

“How about I give you three a chat tomorrow?” Peter suggested.

“Yeah, I know these robots, Peter. They will not take it seriously. Well maybe the Spine will. The other two not so much,” Steve noted. He looked to the eldest and youngest robots, they both smiled sweetly.

“Oh, I’ll make it clear that they avoid repeating them!” Peter spoke with a harsh tone, “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go refill my water.”

“There’s…a jug here,” Chelsea pointed to the full jug of water.

“I need it to be cold,” Peter stood from his chair and made his way to the kitchen. When he reached the sink, he began to fill his glass. As the water poured into the glass he leaned over the basin and began to silently chuckle.

Back in the dining room, it was all quiet. Right until Steve leaned towards the robots.

“Hey, Hatchworth,” he whispered, “Say it again.”

A grin spread right across Hatchworth’s face, “fuck her right in the pussy…”

Steve leaned back in his chair silently cackling. Camille also began to laugh but punched Steve’s bicep. Rabbit and Hatchworth giggled as Chelsea and the Spine just shook their heads in disappointment.


End file.
